Three years since I was shortlisted for the Nick Darke Award…
…why haven’t I followed it up with another shortlist, or even an award, an option, or some other lucrative deal?
Here are some excuses, I mean, some reasons:
- Getting used to being married. They told me it takes time. Seven years, in fact, then apparently you start to scratch, but that’s another three years away for me.
- The above reason led to me producing a small human. This was A KEY REASON why writing and then selling that writing slowed to a crawl for a time. But we’re okay now – they know how to fit the shapes into the holes themselves without demanding I show them how. And they sleep longer than it takes to write a limerick.
- The people managing my 18 year stop-gap-job forgot I’m only supposed to be doing it to pay the mortgage until I become a full time sexy writer and they gave me more work than I was comfortable with. I’m in the process of feigning an industrial injury to get more time to write / sell.
- I wrote to the BBC. What the hell was I thinking??!!! (You may not get why this is hilarious. I’d be happy to explain).
- There was this Japanese maple tree in our garden when we moved into this house. It was well-established and the leaves turned a gorgeous deep red in late Spring that lasted all summer and into the first chills of Autumn. Then this nasty little bastard insect and its mates got onto its branches and kept laying its eggs where the sap travels to the new shoots and I was kept up all hours spraying a customised mixture of water and fairy liquid that I’d read on a genuine gardening website in order to keep it at bay and…well, you can imagine the struggle I had.
- The industry claims that those equal opportunities forms aren’t linked to your submission, but then again…
- Mercury was in retrograde longer than it was supposed to be.
- Trump. Everyone else blames everything on him, so why can’t I?
- The climate changed, icecaps are melting, forests are shrinking, monkeys have shorter fringes, and therefore writing / everything is harder because [insert excuse / reason]
- Err…is this enough?
- Please note that I have completed two plays, one screenplay and two episodes of a radio comedy in this time, I just haven’t got around to selling them yet. But that’s the main point I’m trying to make with this site…don’t make me bring out the flow chart again!